Thursday, July 30, 2009

Killing Mum by Allan Guthrie

Allan Guthrie's novella Killing Mum is reviewed by yours fucking truly over at bookspotcentral.

Check that shit out.

Gotta prepare you, faithful readers: I totally take a dump all over this one.

Nah, I'm just fucking with you. It's Allan Guthrie for fuck's sake. Unless he does a cat mystery or some shit, I'm aficionado numero uno.

Actually, I'd probably dig a Guthrie cat mystery, truth be told...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Don't Call Me a Crook! by Bob Moore

My review of Don't Call Me a Crook! is up over at bookspot.

And no, you don't need a fucking map to find the review - I have provided a link for your lazy ass right here.

Yeah, I know: I'm reviewing true crime. But it's exceptionally kick ass and hilarious true crime so it's okay. Honest.

So pull get your thumb out your ass and check that shit out.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Uncage Me - Edited by Jen Jordan

My review of the transgressive fiction anthology Uncage Me from Bleak House Books is up over at bookspot.

Check that shit out right HERE.

It's got all kinds of kick-ass shit in it from NON faves like Allan Guthrie, Scott Phillips and more.

Also, it's edited by Milwaukee's own Jen Jordan, who you'll remember put together Expletive Deleted a couple years ago.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Bury Me Deep by Megan Abbott

My review of Megan Abbott's Bury Me Deep can be found HERE.

If you've been reading this site a while you'll know that I dig Abbott's shit a whole helluva lot.

That said, I think you'll be surprised by what I have to say this time around...

Nah, I'm just fucking with you. It's awesome.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Catching Up #37: King of the Road by Charlie Williams

Been waiting on this one for a good goddamn while - no joke, it's a tough book to get in the States these days - but the good folks at Uncle Edgar's in Minneapolis finally snagged a copy for me. Now I am officially all caught up with Charlie Williams's Mangel trilogy, and dear God was it worth the wait. This book is hands-down the best of the fucking bunch, and book three being the best is rarely ever the case.

Just look at, well, almost every trilogy ever - The Godfather, The Matrix, Star Wars, Hank Thompson, Spiderman, Evil Dead, Indiana Jones (Crystal Skull never happened), Lord of the Rings (would it have killed Tolkien to kill a couple of fucking characters?) - it's a fucking huge rarity is what I'm getting at here, dear reader. King of the Road is incredibly dark, heart-breakingly sad, thrillingly violent, and fucking hilarious as all hell. It's a fucking shame that that's the end of our man Blake, the toughest bloke in Mangel (fingers-tightly-fucking-crossed Williams will revisit Blakey on a later date).

King of the Road kicks off with Royston Blake being released from the funny farm after a few years stay. He's all set to have a few pints, smoke a few cigs, be a good dad to Sal's and his kid, and take up his old post as doorman for Hopper's, the most respected pub in all Mangel. But Mangel has changed something fierce while he was away. There's a big gleaming shopping mall erected where Hopper's once stood, and Blake's doctor has gotten him a job as the "doorman" (read: mall security guard) at the behemoth, a job that makes all kinds of different Mangel citizens get ideas for our Blake.

Struggling "old guard" merchants like Nathan the Barman and Doug the Shopkeeper want Blake to bring down the mall from the inside. His old pal Don wants him to play a central role in heisting the mall. And the mall's owner Mr. Porter wants to use Blake as an enforcer, a thug whose purpose is to beat those that mean to destroy Mr. Porter's empire. But Blake being Blake, none of these well-laid plans are going to go down smoothly...

You see, the genius of Royston Blake is that he's so hilariously retarded that he never fully understands what he's into. Since he's our narrator, Williams allows Blake to express just enough information that the reader fully understands the implications of what he's involved in, but Blake almost never does. It allows for a lot of consistent laughs throughout the story, and one shockingly sad "revelation" at its end.

And that is a major part of why this book worked for me so fucking well. Deadfolk was a nasty piece of work that had plenty of solid crime shit going on, while I thought that Fags and Lager - though hilarious - was sometimes too wacky and ridiculous to fully work as a noir novel. King of the Road manages to be funnier than both novels and also more dark and tragic too somehow. It's the best of both books, no fucking joke!

In case you're not getting this, dear reader, I'm saying that you should pick up this fucking book toot-fucking-sweet. Damn it, read the whole trilogy. You'll thank me. Least you will if you're a sick fucker who likes shocks, laughs, and poop-mouth in your reading material (which is kind of a pre-requisite for this site, you know). And though I've expressed it many times over, let me say I can't fucking wait for Williams' return to novelifying with Stairway to Hell this August. Three long years is two years too fucking many.

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Butcher's Granddaughter by Michael Lion

My review of Michael Lion's The Butcher's Granddaughter is up over at bookspotcentral.

Give it a shot right HERE.

So I've read one psycho noir and one PI novel from New Pulp Press.

Wonder what other sub-genres they're gonna cover...

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Catching Up #36: Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

Yeah, I'm a johnny-come-ridiculously-fucking-lately with this book but whatever. The truth is out now and there's no fucking going back whatsoever. Besides, I wonder if others of you out there in noir-land passed up Gillian Flynn's debut when it came out same as I did, thinking it wasn't really up their alley. If that was the case, dear reader, I say make fucking amends toot-fucking-sweet cuz Sharp Objects will rock your mangled, bloody shit guaranteed. And if you have already read this book, I guess fucking bully for you then, with-it reader.

Sharp Objects is the story of Camille Preaker, a reporter for a fourth-rate newspaper in the Chicago area who is sent by her editor to her hometown in southern Missouri to cover a story the big papers seem to have missed. Two little girls have been killed within the last year and the police are baffled. Both were strangled and both had all their teeth pried from their mouths after death. Now it's up to Camille - with the help of a handsome St Louis cop brought in to aide the local sheriff - to solve the crime and save the day!

But don't let that poor description steer you away, dear reader. You read that shit and you think this is a typical-ass serial killer thing and say, "Fuck that shit. The Nerd is half a retard and this book looks lamer than that pony I killed with my bare hands." I assure you, reader-who-should-get-help-before-this-problem-gets-any-worse, that Sharp Objects is much more than it first appears.

And that's because Camille and her fucked up little family are the real stars of this creepy fucking monster of a book. I'd say more but that's the fun of this novel, discovering just how messed up Camille, her family and the little town as a whole turn out to be.

It should also be said that despite how dark the novel is, I'd really reccomend it to anyone who reads fiction. It's one of those creepy fucked up books that's fun for the whole family - like Running With Scissors. Also, I think David Cronenberg could adapt the living fuck out of this book. It's all about the body, secrets, below-the-surface worlds - all those themes that he seems attracted to (Hollywood: You're welcome).

So don't fear the "popular fiction sleeper" sticker that Sharp Objects seems to have plastered all over it, my little basement noir crazies, because if you do, you're missing out on one sick fucking good time.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


My review of Road Dogs by Elmore Leonard is up over at Bookspotcentral.

Read that shit HERE.

I apparently have a need to show off my deep knowledge of Elmore Leonard novels in this motherfucker.

What can I say? The Nerd craves acceptance from the smart kids.